This fall my husband lost his father after a long fight with death. A business was sold and a new career was started. The future seemed brighter. Then Super Storm Sandy tore apart our family's home on the coast of Southern Connecticut. It did the same to countless others. There was mass shooting at a mall in Portland, Oregon. Most recently, a sleepy New England town close to my childhood home was the victim of unthinkable acts and children and public servants were murdered at the hands of a mentally unstable young man.
In this season of "merry" my heart hangs so heavy that at time's it feels as though it might break from the very threads that hold it steady. I can not comprehend what is truly wrong with the world, a world that until recently seemed flawed but mostly reasonable. A world that at times seemed even magical.
Every single night that I have been a mother, I have laid down with my babies, and I have prayed to God that he keep them safe from harm. I tell him that I would sacrifice my life for theirs. I know that without them in my world, I would be broken, unable of writing anything "sweet" at all. Scotty would never recover from their loss, this fact keeps me on my toes every day. I imagine that the parents of Sandy Hook Elementary said the same prayers as I do every night. I imagine that they are broken that last Thursday night, their prayers were not answered.
How many times (just this week) I have reprimanded my children for their over abundance of Christmas cheer. The "silly's and the crazy's" that drive me crazy. All the times I have said "NO" to their list of ever growing wants. . . knowing that a small storage unit is filled with gifts hidden just for their special day. I weep for those family's that will be left with unopened toys, who have been robbed of their most beloved children and the memory's that would have been formed from a lifetime together. The teacher's and educators whose lives were sacrificed for the very children they spent countless hours with every day.
Someday soon I will be back with more fun ramblings on pretty interiors, presents and fun. For now though, I am lighting a candle in remembrance of all of those affected by this tragedy in Newtown, Ct. For now I will spend every minute that I can honoring those children and family's. I will love on my baby's tonight, knowing that at least for today, my prayers have been answered.